stop whining

yeah. so i've decided to stop whining. cos that doesn't help much haha. but thx for the comments, pple. been nice reading them :)

right now i'm reading books. organising my music. carving a stone stamp. buying myself some paints. helping a little with housework. cooking a bit. going around meeting relatives. suzhou hasn't changed much since last year, though the industrial park is getting more and more modern every year. i don't really like it that way, but my mom said that comfort is more important. i'm not sure if that's right. the city is getting more materialistic just every day. not that it's not been one. as a city living off tertiary industries suzhou has always been somewhat materialistic and money centred, but with all the rich around it was kind of a centre for culture too. all is lost. mom said that maybe we'll be better off without the traditions. maybe.

a friend went to egypt. how exciting. i got excited just looking at the photos. she, overjoyed, riding a camel with her arms streching upwards, against the vast desert with thousands of years of sorrows and pride, change and persistence. it's just a cool feeling. like hurling yourself into something big. something sophisticated. something meaningful. as if you yourself would become bigger, more sophisticated and more meaningful. like you can be synchronised to the rhythm of the ancient breath of the egyption people. like you could actually experience the ruthless change of time and space, with the sculpture in front of you, worn and torn by the forces of weathering. like the emotion of the dead would flood into you, out of the objects you see, hot or cold. man. i've got to go. someday.