so after i sent fm to the airport, i headed back. not knowing exactly how to get back though. i've always thought the traffic downtown sd confusing and, well, for someone who doesn't even know her way around the school well, that was indeed a challenge. i came back one piece. that's worth a celebration. my first freeway trip alone, outside school vicinity. it's not easy especially when i've slept 2 hours yesterday, had a final this morning, and didn't eat anything. (by the way, my brain must have been feeding on ketone bodies duringn my DOC final.) when i was approaching home, i thought i picked up the feel of the steering wheel again. i thought i'd love to drive. it took me about 40 mins to pick that momentum up haha. so that's that.
when i was back, my suitemates were gathering DOC books for the bonfire. i know it might been better to recycle them but i gave my readers to them anyways. it felt good. reminds me of the badge i received this morning. "i survived DOC" too bad that the readers didn't survive me. i hadn't eaten a thing since lunch yesterday, so heated up the leftover panda express from that meal, ate half of it and stopped eating again. i'm just worried bout exams, which is really my fault and nobody else's. well. i'll be like this till next week.
called home, my cousin was there. he has just finished the college entrance exam. like any normal candidate, the mildly shocked and very tired kid sounded pitiful. he has always been the nice kid in the family, and people adore him. that such a kid has to go through that kind of exam stress makes me sad. kind of. he just sound completely innocent and exhausted. and worried. more than me. so when i said that i was worried too, he said that oh, does you exam affect you a lifetime? no it doesn't. yes his does.
so were talking about uni choices. he said he liked math. or english. i thought it unnecessary to do a degree in english. it's a tool after all. thought a degree in math would be useful, that he could go into science or finance easily. scientists adore math-savvy kids, i heard. he didn't like engineering. or physics. hated bio and chem.(i'm sure he'll hate biochem more). "maybe georgraphy" he said. out of nowhere. i'm not sure i would like to see him coming out of the university without a job. other than teaching i mean. he was just a little lost among the choices. i know he would be. i once was. maybe less. but i was once lost too.
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hey univ choices again, painful. I just wrote a long email circling around the century old problem of 'reality' & 'ideal'. Jobless sure drives one to despair. I don't know. I wish I could say to my kids(if i have)'do whatever u like and be damn good at it'. i really wish i could.
thanks for sending me down. and dont worry abt driving, ull get the hang of it soon. my advice: dont be so uptight over it. the more u worry, the worse ull drive. let ur instincts take over.
"i thought it unnecessary to do a degree in english". this is so practical of u. if he likes the language/culture, why not? im sure teaching english in cn is very lucrative too (to fulfill the practical aspects).
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