two chapters by keller and shaner et. al. discuss the nature and importance of fitness indicators, the role of the brain as a mental fitness indicator and the implications of their theory in mental disorders such as schizophrenia.
consider a male peacock who invests considerable amount of energy in making a big shiny tail to display ostensibly during courtship. the cost of this investement alone can be seen as an indicator of this particular male's overall fitness, such as ability to produce a lot of color pigments, maintaining the size and shine of the tail and mental and physical agility to avoid predators at an increased risk of being spotted. on the other hand, a male peacock who cannot afford to invest in such a tail due to low fitness will have a much drabber tail. the tail of a peacock is thus a typical fitness indicator. the characteristics of such indicators are as follows:
1) high variance in measurable parameters, so that presumably it is easy for the chooser sex to pick from - the whole point is for the trait to be an indicator
2) variance correlates with underlying fitness
3) potential mate prefer th high fitness extreme
4) the trait is heritable
5) the trait is more conspicuous in the sex being chosen
this seemingly plausible argument runs into the "lek paradox", i.e. the contradiction between high sexual selection pressure and high variance. should all female peacocks prefer pretty tails, such genes will prevail and all male peacocks should have pretty tails, hence variance should be low. the resolution to this paradox comes from the speculation that fitness indicators, no matter how single-gene dependent to start with, inevitabily becomes polygenic because other traits have to coevolve to accommodate for the change in the indicator trait. e.g the peacock needs greater agility presumably to compensate for the more cumbersome tail. a polygenic trait inevitably becomes a bigger target for mutation accumulation due to the multiple genes involved, which leads to high variance. so the logic is that intensive sexual selection predicts a development of the trait into a polygenic one, which predicts the increase in its variance.
the above might be familiar to all of you who read evolutionary psychology and the likes. the developmet that the MI researchers want to bring home is that the human brain and its elaborate cognitive funcions such as language and creativity is an indicator for fitness. female preference for male brain power leads to the rapid selection of better brain genes. like other fitness indicators, intelligence, especially mating intelligence, is polygenic, prominently variable in males and heritable.
what's particularly interesting is that the authors suggest that mental disorders are serious failures of mating intelligence. schizophrenia is used as an example. in the analogy to peakcock tails, schizophrenia is like a drab tail, and it indicates mental unfitness, especially in mating. the onset of schizophrenia coincides with the start of reproductive period in humans, and it remits with the end of reproduction. it highly predicts mating failures and results social stigmatization. it is recently found to be polygenic, with many common develomental genes being the target for mutations discovered but not any schizophrenic switch genes. it is ostensible in male humas, the chosen sex and its development is sensitive to environmental factors that affect fitness.it is therefore merely the low end extreme of mating intelligence.
this led me to wonder about autism, which is clearly a spectrum of disorders with polygenic causes. however, it is not likely to be related to mating intelligence, because it is a childhood disease. as i wondered, i reached a section in shaner et. al. which actually discusses autism. they think that autism is an indicator of weakness in potential mating fitness not for mates to see, but for parents. very much like young birds who look better might get more parental investments, autism displays genetic unfitness that might prevent parents from investing limited resources in the affected child.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
mating intelligence
so i'm half way through this book mating intelligent-sex relationships, and the mind's reproductive system, a collection of reviewish articles on the emerging concept of mating intelligence, meant to be used as a psychology text book on human mating behaviour, especially the decision making process involved. i have never read a psychology book before, so this is was particularly interesting for me. (also because of my inherent interest in mating and sexual behaviuor in general, but you already knew that.)
the editors glenn geher and geoffrey miller want to bring home the point that intelligence in mating, as in optimisation of mating related decisions, should really be studied as an intelligence that stands on its own right alongside general intelligence and emotional intelligence1. this book looks at two things. first how intelligence affects the decisions people make in mating. second how sexual selection of intelligence happens. so far i'm still reading about the cognitive ability of handling mating, i.e. the former.
whether or not we agree that mating intelligence could be coined as a novel concept, a few things were quite interesting to know (in addition to the obvious, that men prefer young and attractive women, and women prefer rich and powerful men):
1) a big portion of several articles talk about the relationship between mate choice and mate tactic for long and or short term matings. penke et al especially interestingly discussed the role of self assessment in mating tactics, the so called mate value sociometer2. turns out, males are more affected by mate value sociometer, i.e they are more sensitive to their own mating value. the logic goes as follows: females are always choosy, because they are the limiting factor in this whole mating thing. because of the risk of pregnancy, females prefer long term mating to short term mating, and because of the higher risk involved in short term mating, they might have even higher condition preference for short term mating. males when given the opportunity will like to do variety short term matings. but because of the selectivity females have for short term mating partners, trying to engage a female for short term mating becomes a socially risky behaviour due to costly rejections. so only very few males with very high mating values should attempt it and the others will form avoidance behaviour. it is here where the ability to judge his own mating value and behaving adaptively becomes extremely important for males, but not females.
2) norman p. li brought up a point (a very side point): testosterone impairs the immune system, which if compromised in development results in a lack of bilateral facial symmetry, therefore women look for men who exhibit both masculinity and facial symmetry, indicating the presence of exceptional genes despite the presence of large amounts of testosterone3. i searched for primary literature, only to find roden et al (2004)4 reporting in increase in t cell activity with removal of androgen by castration in male mice. didn't find anything more significant. nevertheless it's an interesting thing to think about.
3) another interesting thing norm li talked about (i think this is more of the main point of the article) is that although physical attractiveness in females and status in males are the primary attractive traits to the opposite sex, they both exhibit typical diminishing-marginal-return pattern from an economics point of view, i.e. "going from below average to average increases acceptability more than going from average to above average did", and these are the only traits that exhibit such patterns, among many other desirable traits. the thing is that each sex sizes up one of these two traits in the opposite sex first, then they consider other factors. when the mating budget given to one is low (such as low mating value of oneself) then one is likely to put high priority on physical attractiveness in a female or status in a male. but when budge is high, one adaptively puts higher priorities on other traits. in this way physical attractiveness and status are used in mate selection much like gre scores in grad school admissions. high scores don't help as much as low scores hurt.
4) the article written by maureen o'sullivan on deception describes roles of deception in long term and short term mating. she descries romantic love as not only a cognitive construct but a form of self-deception to keep a long term pair bond going5. i quote:
"for example, murray and her colleagues (murray, holmes, bellavia, griffin & dolderman, 2002) demonstrated that people in enduring relationships saw their partners as more similar to themselves than they actually were. they termed this mismatch "egocentrism'. another name for it might be self-deception, believing that ones partner is a soul mate allows one to feel understood, which leads to satisfaction in the relationship which leads to its continuation."
it's refreshing to hear it from a theoretical point of view, although i have long suspected so about the make-believe nature of the construct of soul mates. o'sullivan also talks about the willingness of the lied to partner to believe in the lies, quoting geoffrey miller (2006, personal communication)6 "there may be an adaptive binary switchh from total trust to totaly mistrust, with no finess paoff for being in an in-between-state of semi-trust" between partners.
5) possibly altruism evolved in the same way other useless things did, such as artistic ability and sense of humor, designed as traits to attract mates, much like the ostensibly invested in but not practical in any sense peacock's tail. ?
that's it so far.
------------------------------
works cited
1. geher, miller and murphy. mating intelligence: toward an evolutionarily informed construct. 2008.
2. penke, todd, lenton and fasolo. how self-assessment can guide human mating decisions. 2008.
3. li. intelligent priorities: adaptive long- and short-term mating preferences. 2008.
4. roden et. al. augmentation of t cell levels and responses induced by androgen deprivation. 2004.
5. o'sullivan. deception and self-deception as strategies in short and long-term
mating. 2008.
6. miller. personal communications. 2006.
the editors glenn geher and geoffrey miller want to bring home the point that intelligence in mating, as in optimisation of mating related decisions, should really be studied as an intelligence that stands on its own right alongside general intelligence and emotional intelligence1. this book looks at two things. first how intelligence affects the decisions people make in mating. second how sexual selection of intelligence happens. so far i'm still reading about the cognitive ability of handling mating, i.e. the former.
whether or not we agree that mating intelligence could be coined as a novel concept, a few things were quite interesting to know (in addition to the obvious, that men prefer young and attractive women, and women prefer rich and powerful men):
1) a big portion of several articles talk about the relationship between mate choice and mate tactic for long and or short term matings. penke et al especially interestingly discussed the role of self assessment in mating tactics, the so called mate value sociometer2. turns out, males are more affected by mate value sociometer, i.e they are more sensitive to their own mating value. the logic goes as follows: females are always choosy, because they are the limiting factor in this whole mating thing. because of the risk of pregnancy, females prefer long term mating to short term mating, and because of the higher risk involved in short term mating, they might have even higher condition preference for short term mating. males when given the opportunity will like to do variety short term matings. but because of the selectivity females have for short term mating partners, trying to engage a female for short term mating becomes a socially risky behaviour due to costly rejections. so only very few males with very high mating values should attempt it and the others will form avoidance behaviour. it is here where the ability to judge his own mating value and behaving adaptively becomes extremely important for males, but not females.
2) norman p. li brought up a point (a very side point): testosterone impairs the immune system, which if compromised in development results in a lack of bilateral facial symmetry, therefore women look for men who exhibit both masculinity and facial symmetry, indicating the presence of exceptional genes despite the presence of large amounts of testosterone3. i searched for primary literature, only to find roden et al (2004)4 reporting in increase in t cell activity with removal of androgen by castration in male mice. didn't find anything more significant. nevertheless it's an interesting thing to think about.
3) another interesting thing norm li talked about (i think this is more of the main point of the article) is that although physical attractiveness in females and status in males are the primary attractive traits to the opposite sex, they both exhibit typical diminishing-marginal-return pattern from an economics point of view, i.e. "going from below average to average increases acceptability more than going from average to above average did", and these are the only traits that exhibit such patterns, among many other desirable traits. the thing is that each sex sizes up one of these two traits in the opposite sex first, then they consider other factors. when the mating budget given to one is low (such as low mating value of oneself) then one is likely to put high priority on physical attractiveness in a female or status in a male. but when budge is high, one adaptively puts higher priorities on other traits. in this way physical attractiveness and status are used in mate selection much like gre scores in grad school admissions. high scores don't help as much as low scores hurt.
4) the article written by maureen o'sullivan on deception describes roles of deception in long term and short term mating. she descries romantic love as not only a cognitive construct but a form of self-deception to keep a long term pair bond going5. i quote:
"for example, murray and her colleagues (murray, holmes, bellavia, griffin & dolderman, 2002) demonstrated that people in enduring relationships saw their partners as more similar to themselves than they actually were. they termed this mismatch "egocentrism'. another name for it might be self-deception, believing that ones partner is a soul mate allows one to feel understood, which leads to satisfaction in the relationship which leads to its continuation."
it's refreshing to hear it from a theoretical point of view, although i have long suspected so about the make-believe nature of the construct of soul mates. o'sullivan also talks about the willingness of the lied to partner to believe in the lies, quoting geoffrey miller (2006, personal communication)6 "there may be an adaptive binary switchh from total trust to totaly mistrust, with no finess paoff for being in an in-between-state of semi-trust" between partners.
5) possibly altruism evolved in the same way other useless things did, such as artistic ability and sense of humor, designed as traits to attract mates, much like the ostensibly invested in but not practical in any sense peacock's tail. ?
that's it so far.
------------------------------
works cited
1. geher, miller and murphy. mating intelligence: toward an evolutionarily informed construct. 2008.
2. penke, todd, lenton and fasolo. how self-assessment can guide human mating decisions. 2008.
3. li. intelligent priorities: adaptive long- and short-term mating preferences. 2008.
4. roden et. al. augmentation of t cell levels and responses induced by androgen deprivation. 2004.
5. o'sullivan. deception and self-deception as strategies in short and long-term
mating. 2008.
6. miller. personal communications. 2006.
same old story
here i am again, stuck in some airport. being stuck at an airport so frequently happens to my loner trips that it has become a necessity of some sort. somehow orbitz booked the two flights (bos-ord, ord-pvg) 12 hours apart, and didn't make it connecting. so i had to check out my luggage and wait outside at departure. where there's only a starbucks some equally overpriced snack shop. and after i wondered around for about 15 min, i only managed to find one spot where there's a combination of a chair and a power outlet. and unfortunately this spot is on a different level from the one that contains the starbucks. so crippled by my luggage, i had to stick with one coffee for the night.
ORD sucks.
around me nothing much is happening, cos it's christmas. i had expected more people around here, cos of the nyt articles making big deals out of people stuck at ORD. not very many of them it seems, or the congestion has been eased. after i sat down, i spent half an hour explaining the specs of my computer to a night guard,who was surprised to find out that my laptop was a laptop not a dvd player and henceforth asked about processing speed etc. then i bought myself 24hrs of internet as a xmas present, i started to get used to the surrounding. i'm sitting on a bench that has i guess acrylic painting all over it, painted by chicago teenagers in gallery37, a program of "after school matters". two benches away, a young african american man is sleeping soundly, and next to his bench, a blonde girl is watching some movie. the escalator on my right is moaning very loudly.
ok i give up on this stream of consciousness thing.
ORD sucks.
around me nothing much is happening, cos it's christmas. i had expected more people around here, cos of the nyt articles making big deals out of people stuck at ORD. not very many of them it seems, or the congestion has been eased. after i sat down, i spent half an hour explaining the specs of my computer to a night guard,who was surprised to find out that my laptop was a laptop not a dvd player and henceforth asked about processing speed etc. then i bought myself 24hrs of internet as a xmas present, i started to get used to the surrounding. i'm sitting on a bench that has i guess acrylic painting all over it, painted by chicago teenagers in gallery37, a program of "after school matters". two benches away, a young african american man is sleeping soundly, and next to his bench, a blonde girl is watching some movie. the escalator on my right is moaning very loudly.
ok i give up on this stream of consciousness thing.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
peisner
recently i went back to listening to the soundtracks that preisner wrote for kieslowski(the three colors and the double life of veronique). my obsession has caused my brain to be saturated with nothing but the same melodies in all sorts of instrumentation.
listen to this concerto he wrote for veronique, pretending to be the fictitious 18th century dutch composer Van den Budenmayer. it clearly couldn't have been written in the 18th century, the sound is too modern, don't you think?
listen to this concerto he wrote for veronique, pretending to be the fictitious 18th century dutch composer Van den Budenmayer. it clearly couldn't have been written in the 18th century, the sound is too modern, don't you think?
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Monday, December 08, 2008
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Patient H.M.
Patient H.M. died at 82 yesterday after contributing to memory research by being a life long research subject.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
披肩
从办公室到实验室的途中在洗手间停了一下，看见镜子里的自己，黑衣服，深红披肩，松散的长卷发。说不清什么眼神。忽然想起三毛来，然后自然地想起了齐豫。
小时候读三毛，拼命地想像三毛这个人。叛逆的少年，流浪着的青年，郁郁而终的中年。我对三毛的视觉化印象主要取决于家里一盒卡带《三毛的歌》的封面。吉普塞女郎的装束，长发编成松松的发辫，倚着一头小毛驴。背景是苍茫的撒哈拉。在我的脑海里，三毛成了一种符号。《橄榄树》成了一种符号。有时候我沉浸在齐豫遥远的歌声中，憧憬着流浪的感觉，孤身一人，走着，看着，爱着，感受着，寻觅着，向往着远方。觉得浪漫得不得了。后来我真的离开了家，在陌生的国度辗转。派对之后，工作之余，安静地听着齐豫，觉得自己象是流浪着寻找梦中的橄榄树一样。不然为什么喜欢长长的卷发，买了深红的披肩，流连于孤身旅行，久久不愿回家呢？
我一直觉得齐豫有些近似三毛的气质。我常想，她离家以后，有没有也觉得自己象三毛一样在大漠里徘徊呢？不然，为什么她的装束，她的眼神，她的歌声，无一不象三毛，那么感性，执着，罗曼蒂克。她又在找什么呢？我又在找什么呢？
也许我和三毛和齐豫本来就是一个类型的人，也许三毛的书齐豫的歌一直潜移默化地影响着我。不管是什么原因，我感到一种跨越时空的共鸣，就好像michael cunningham 的 the hours里的种种必然.
橄榄树(歌词集)
作者: 三毛
【橄榄树】
（三毛词 李泰祥曲）
不要问我从哪里来
我的故乡在远方
为什么流浪
流浪远方 流浪
为了天空飞翔的小鸟
为了山间轻流的小溪
为了宽阔的草原
流浪远方 流浪
还有还有 为了梦中的橄榄树
不要问我从哪里来
我的故乡在远方
为什么流浪
为什么流浪远方
为了我梦中的橄榄树
不要问我从哪里来
我的故乡在远方
为什么流浪
流浪远方 流浪
小时候读三毛，拼命地想像三毛这个人。叛逆的少年，流浪着的青年，郁郁而终的中年。我对三毛的视觉化印象主要取决于家里一盒卡带《三毛的歌》的封面。吉普塞女郎的装束，长发编成松松的发辫，倚着一头小毛驴。背景是苍茫的撒哈拉。在我的脑海里，三毛成了一种符号。《橄榄树》成了一种符号。有时候我沉浸在齐豫遥远的歌声中，憧憬着流浪的感觉，孤身一人，走着，看着，爱着，感受着，寻觅着，向往着远方。觉得浪漫得不得了。后来我真的离开了家，在陌生的国度辗转。派对之后，工作之余，安静地听着齐豫，觉得自己象是流浪着寻找梦中的橄榄树一样。不然为什么喜欢长长的卷发，买了深红的披肩，流连于孤身旅行，久久不愿回家呢？
我一直觉得齐豫有些近似三毛的气质。我常想，她离家以后，有没有也觉得自己象三毛一样在大漠里徘徊呢？不然，为什么她的装束，她的眼神，她的歌声，无一不象三毛，那么感性，执着，罗曼蒂克。她又在找什么呢？我又在找什么呢？
也许我和三毛和齐豫本来就是一个类型的人，也许三毛的书齐豫的歌一直潜移默化地影响着我。不管是什么原因，我感到一种跨越时空的共鸣，就好像michael cunningham 的 the hours里的种种必然.
橄榄树(歌词集)
作者: 三毛
【橄榄树】
（三毛词 李泰祥曲）
不要问我从哪里来
我的故乡在远方
为什么流浪
流浪远方 流浪
为了天空飞翔的小鸟
为了山间轻流的小溪
为了宽阔的草原
流浪远方 流浪
还有还有 为了梦中的橄榄树
不要问我从哪里来
我的故乡在远方
为什么流浪
为什么流浪远方
为了我梦中的橄榄树
不要问我从哪里来
我的故乡在远方
为什么流浪
流浪远方 流浪
Saturday, November 22, 2008
what i really want in a browser
1. note taking
the only difference between reading online and reading on paper is that i can conveniently underline and doodle on paper, but not so easily on a web page. what i want is a browser based page editor. conceptually, it shouldn't be hard to build. assuming a web page has a perm link, as most web posts such as blog posts and news articles do, then the task is simply to build a meta/indexing file locally that adds notes to the web page. when the same link is visited and same web page is loaded, the meta file is superimposed onto the web page. however, the fact that many pages get updated frequently might complicate things. but i'm sure there could be a clever way of detecting differences and adding the notes accordingly.
2. horizontal tabbing
i got tired of tabbing. it keeps things neat and opened windows few, but it's really not convenient to have to flip through a stack of vertically stacked tabs. moreover, a lot of sites don't use all the space that our wide screens provide. it'll be awesome if we could have a browser that has a horizontal tabbing function. basically what i need is a browser with its field split, let's say, three ways by vertical borders, each portion including its own address bar. this way i can watch a regular sized video, read a skinny post and write something at the same time. right now i solve the problem by opening multiple windows and have them stack over each other, revealing what i need to see, but as such only one window can be active at a time. and it's annoying.
the only difference between reading online and reading on paper is that i can conveniently underline and doodle on paper, but not so easily on a web page. what i want is a browser based page editor. conceptually, it shouldn't be hard to build. assuming a web page has a perm link, as most web posts such as blog posts and news articles do, then the task is simply to build a meta/indexing file locally that adds notes to the web page. when the same link is visited and same web page is loaded, the meta file is superimposed onto the web page. however, the fact that many pages get updated frequently might complicate things. but i'm sure there could be a clever way of detecting differences and adding the notes accordingly.
2. horizontal tabbing
i got tired of tabbing. it keeps things neat and opened windows few, but it's really not convenient to have to flip through a stack of vertically stacked tabs. moreover, a lot of sites don't use all the space that our wide screens provide. it'll be awesome if we could have a browser that has a horizontal tabbing function. basically what i need is a browser with its field split, let's say, three ways by vertical borders, each portion including its own address bar. this way i can watch a regular sized video, read a skinny post and write something at the same time. right now i solve the problem by opening multiple windows and have them stack over each other, revealing what i need to see, but as such only one window can be active at a time. and it's annoying.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
DC
thursday 1113 washington DC
i never fail to be surprised by how at home i feel in cities other than my hometown. every time i go back to singapore, i get the feeling that i'm home, just because of the ease of navigating, and knowing where to find stuff. and every time i go back to america, i feel the same way. it's the chinese city where i was born and raised that i do not recognize, or feel at home in. too many things changed and are still changing in china in general and suzhou in specific, ripping the parts i know bit by bit from the thousand year old city. after my parents had moved, i had a great deal of difficulty orienting myself when i did go home. it makes me a little melancholy sometimes, and sometimes a little at loss, but there isn't anything i could do about it, except maybe staying abroad.
so today, i woke up, googlemapped all the places i need to go, rode the t to airport, boarded a small american eagle plane, landed in DC, took the metro to metro center and found my hostel. checked in. rested. came back out, found the venue of the conference, read the program. then i felt the need for a hot drink and some solid food, so i cross the street into the starbucks, got a hot caramel apple spice and some chicken salad sandwich. (and congratulated myself for being completely comfortable.) other than being unchanging, one more thing makes the developed cities easy to adapt to. that is its uniformity. we criticize chains all the time for their streamlined operation, uniformity, lack of individuality, but we couldn't live without them. when i go into a strange american city, i'm assured that i can always find hot drinks and snacks at starbucks, that particular brand of cough syrup at walgreens and cheap shoes at payless. even if i go into a non chain restaurant, the menu is pretty as much expected. easy living.
so now i'm sitting in the starbucks opposite the royal suite where the MCCS meeting is going to be held. poster session is in about 2 hours, and there's a day of meeting tomorrow.
the thought of finally getting to the capital of america is still exciting me. especially after the election last week. for years i thought about the applicability of democracy, america being its most devout executer. unfortunately, democracy in america has been tainted with various things: easily swayed voters, lobbyists, corporations, a lack of transparency in government mechanisms, etc etc. and of course the glass ceiling. obama's victory first of all broke the glass ceiling for race to some extent. obama is not a typical african america, so it's debatable how progressive america has become. also the pressing economic issues probably played a bigger part than any other factors in this election. nevertheless, he's not a white man, and that alone still says something about this country. and of course he's smart. the change he promised brings at least some hope for the solution to the other problems. i look forward to what america is capable of in years to come. i'm counting on america to restore my confidence in democracy in reality. only when democracy can work properly here, there's a chance for it working in china. at this point i am reminded of what rickless said about democracy. " there's nothing beautiful about democracy itself", he said, "democracy only means the rule of the people. and when the people are ugly, democracy is ugly". what's america's problem? is it not enough people being educated enough to make informed choices picking their government or apathy to doing so? at least in the most recent election, apathy doesn't seem too much of a problem. i hope education in america becomes even better, and the government becomes more transparent. which are both hopeful in obama's term(s). sometimes i am a little frustrated by the nature of politics, and wishfully hope for a more synergistic political scene.
washington looks very much like new york. broad french boulevards, with large blocks of neoclassical buildings along the sides. except maybe it looks slightly more orderly, less crowded, and with many more snappily dressed executive looking people. there are more african americans and fewer latinos than all the other cities i've been to. the mix of people is what i would visualise if i had been asked to imagine a crowd of american people before i came to america, except maybe with a few more asians than i had imagined. i walked and wondered how many people i randomly run into in the streets were aspiring politicians. i wont be surprised if many of them were. what a fascinating life.
i never fail to be surprised by how at home i feel in cities other than my hometown. every time i go back to singapore, i get the feeling that i'm home, just because of the ease of navigating, and knowing where to find stuff. and every time i go back to america, i feel the same way. it's the chinese city where i was born and raised that i do not recognize, or feel at home in. too many things changed and are still changing in china in general and suzhou in specific, ripping the parts i know bit by bit from the thousand year old city. after my parents had moved, i had a great deal of difficulty orienting myself when i did go home. it makes me a little melancholy sometimes, and sometimes a little at loss, but there isn't anything i could do about it, except maybe staying abroad.
so today, i woke up, googlemapped all the places i need to go, rode the t to airport, boarded a small american eagle plane, landed in DC, took the metro to metro center and found my hostel. checked in. rested. came back out, found the venue of the conference, read the program. then i felt the need for a hot drink and some solid food, so i cross the street into the starbucks, got a hot caramel apple spice and some chicken salad sandwich. (and congratulated myself for being completely comfortable.) other than being unchanging, one more thing makes the developed cities easy to adapt to. that is its uniformity. we criticize chains all the time for their streamlined operation, uniformity, lack of individuality, but we couldn't live without them. when i go into a strange american city, i'm assured that i can always find hot drinks and snacks at starbucks, that particular brand of cough syrup at walgreens and cheap shoes at payless. even if i go into a non chain restaurant, the menu is pretty as much expected. easy living.
so now i'm sitting in the starbucks opposite the royal suite where the MCCS meeting is going to be held. poster session is in about 2 hours, and there's a day of meeting tomorrow.
the thought of finally getting to the capital of america is still exciting me. especially after the election last week. for years i thought about the applicability of democracy, america being its most devout executer. unfortunately, democracy in america has been tainted with various things: easily swayed voters, lobbyists, corporations, a lack of transparency in government mechanisms, etc etc. and of course the glass ceiling. obama's victory first of all broke the glass ceiling for race to some extent. obama is not a typical african america, so it's debatable how progressive america has become. also the pressing economic issues probably played a bigger part than any other factors in this election. nevertheless, he's not a white man, and that alone still says something about this country. and of course he's smart. the change he promised brings at least some hope for the solution to the other problems. i look forward to what america is capable of in years to come. i'm counting on america to restore my confidence in democracy in reality. only when democracy can work properly here, there's a chance for it working in china. at this point i am reminded of what rickless said about democracy. " there's nothing beautiful about democracy itself", he said, "democracy only means the rule of the people. and when the people are ugly, democracy is ugly". what's america's problem? is it not enough people being educated enough to make informed choices picking their government or apathy to doing so? at least in the most recent election, apathy doesn't seem too much of a problem. i hope education in america becomes even better, and the government becomes more transparent. which are both hopeful in obama's term(s). sometimes i am a little frustrated by the nature of politics, and wishfully hope for a more synergistic political scene.
washington looks very much like new york. broad french boulevards, with large blocks of neoclassical buildings along the sides. except maybe it looks slightly more orderly, less crowded, and with many more snappily dressed executive looking people. there are more african americans and fewer latinos than all the other cities i've been to. the mix of people is what i would visualise if i had been asked to imagine a crowd of american people before i came to america, except maybe with a few more asians than i had imagined. i walked and wondered how many people i randomly run into in the streets were aspiring politicians. i wont be surprised if many of them were. what a fascinating life.
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Dresden Dolls 'Coin-Operated Boy'
Since a friend introduced me to this group, i've become somewhat obsessed with the Dresden Dolls. too bad they kind of broke up. watch this music video. I was mesmerized...
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Obama's First Press Conference
it's so refreshing to have a president who looks like he knows what he's talking about...
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
outer hair cell though i know you'll attenuate eventually...
i remember i posted a video of an outer hair cell dancing to rocking round the clock. since our class was revisiting the subject of outer hair cell and some classmate found something funnier.. i'm compelled to post it here. heh. a little bit far with the nerdiness...outer hair cells are believe to transduce electric signals into mechanic signals (contraction and expansion) and therefore amplifies cochlea's response to sound.
and on top of that i have to add this incredibly lame joke. so joe santos-sacchi who studies outer hair cells at yale tells his medical students that the motility in outer hair cells activates a direct dance reflex that goes from the ear to the motor system. ha ha.
and on top of that i have to add this incredibly lame joke. so joe santos-sacchi who studies outer hair cells at yale tells his medical students that the motility in outer hair cells activates a direct dance reflex that goes from the ear to the motor system. ha ha.
Friday, October 24, 2008
i got out of 46
my response to experiment failures and unfinishable homework was to get out of building 46 and go somewhere else. messiaen and boulez would be played at the symphony, so i decided to go downtown and take advantage of the college card, while unwinding my brain.
as it turned out, the college card hours were over nearly an hour before i got there. so i didn't get the ticket and had to think of somewhere else to go. i wondered along huntington ave until i hit the mfa. at least i wouldn't have to pay for entrance. they had an exhibition of art nouveau jewelery with japanese motif going on. the jewelers actually took the pain to line thin thin thin edges with tiny tiny diamonds. wonderful stuff. my phone camera didn't work too well under that lighting. so you have to take my word for it.
then i went through egyptian and roman sections of the museum and spent the rest of my time in the early 20th century room. it's a very small room, but contains a few nice pieces. they have a good mary cassatt (in the loge), a good renoir (the dance), degas' little ballerina in bronze and some other stuff. for the first time i realised that the ballerina is not only standing chest up, but also her hip is swung slightly to the left. which makes the entire impression a whole lot different. weird i never saw it before. another thing i saw was that three of the native women in the gauguin are making eyes at the viewer, in a rather seductive way. exotic women in a seducing act, this definitely added value to the painting in his time! it is also weird that i haven't noticed that before. anyways, i wonder why i connect so much with these 20th century enruopeans. if only i had a time machine!
one last thing worth mentioning, when i was on my way out, i saw this piece of work (you can read about it in the caption at the end):
isn't it wonderful. all the bottles are contained in a mirror glass chest made of unidirectional mirror. so you can see what's going on inside, but light can't go in. the pattern thus formed on the bottles are quite magnificent!
as it turned out, the college card hours were over nearly an hour before i got there. so i didn't get the ticket and had to think of somewhere else to go. i wondered along huntington ave until i hit the mfa. at least i wouldn't have to pay for entrance. they had an exhibition of art nouveau jewelery with japanese motif going on. the jewelers actually took the pain to line thin thin thin edges with tiny tiny diamonds. wonderful stuff. my phone camera didn't work too well under that lighting. so you have to take my word for it.
then i went through egyptian and roman sections of the museum and spent the rest of my time in the early 20th century room. it's a very small room, but contains a few nice pieces. they have a good mary cassatt (in the loge), a good renoir (the dance), degas' little ballerina in bronze and some other stuff. for the first time i realised that the ballerina is not only standing chest up, but also her hip is swung slightly to the left. which makes the entire impression a whole lot different. weird i never saw it before. another thing i saw was that three of the native women in the gauguin are making eyes at the viewer, in a rather seductive way. exotic women in a seducing act, this definitely added value to the painting in his time! it is also weird that i haven't noticed that before. anyways, i wonder why i connect so much with these 20th century enruopeans. if only i had a time machine!
one last thing worth mentioning, when i was on my way out, i saw this piece of work (you can read about it in the caption at the end):
isn't it wonderful. all the bottles are contained in a mirror glass chest made of unidirectional mirror. so you can see what's going on inside, but light can't go in. the pattern thus formed on the bottles are quite magnificent!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
c'est la vie
time: 2250 hours
venue: some graduate student lounge
i'm trying kill creeps on desktop tower defense. behind me, a group of people are overdosing on a combination of skittles and a drink yet to be named. its composition is roughly as follows: 7up, regular; jack daniel's; 100x mg of caffeine ("stay awake" tablet, where x is an integer greater than 1). loud music of unknown genre to me. someone else frantically typing something on a laptop computer.
and we are all trying to (pretend to) read a paper for tomorrow and write a critique of it for one of its main authors. the original plan was to read it sober, so that the brain areas for memory encoding process (the hippocampus, also the major subject of the paper) is intact, and then drink the shit and critique the paper. hoping that the caffeine helps the fountains of criticism and creativity. anyways, the hope is gone. the reward circuit yearned for caffeine a little too much for the beverage to wait in the cup.
and the crowd gets bigger.
and i wonder if my entire graduate career will be a multiplication of this night. no wonder people spend so long doing their phds.
update: the drink has just been named. it's the ghetto blaster. however, there's also an augmented ghetto blaster. not sure which is which.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
the arrival of g pen 340
came in the mail today. at 27.72, this USB tablet really works surprisingly well. i think with some training, i should have much better control of the cursor than using my trackpad. not just for fine control, but also for gross movements.
i'm convinced that the following thing is completely wrong anatomically.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
the circus is in town...
so the ringling brothers circus parked their train on the track next to school...and unloaded a bunch of elephants and horses and ponies. i didn't know about this until i hit the crowd (easily hundreds) on mass ave on my way home from the library.
the crowd:
note the abundance of strollers, indicating high hippie index of the parents in the area.
the police force:
the elephants!
the crowd:
 |
| From elephants |
note the abundance of strollers, indicating high hippie index of the parents in the area.
the police force:
 |
| From elephants |
the elephants!
 |
| From elephants |
 |
| From elephants |
Sunday, September 14, 2008
everyone says (well every enlightened person) that essentially biology is chemistry, chemistry is physics and physics is mathematics. well i just (yesterday) figured out a more appropriate way of saying this. i think physics is mathematics at its best, chemistry is physics at its best, and biology in its full glory is the pinnacle of chemical reactions. (now of course, the wonderful wonderful nervous system, owns the crown of all biological processes. don't shoot me.:P )
***
and tmobile is fucking mean. they disabled almost all web-based third party java applications on the nokia 5300. so now i can't use any of the google mobile apps, or opera mini, or anything that is not t-zone. my status is officially: with data plan, but crippled.
***
on a separate note, i dropped by the art supplies on mass ave after i picked up a college card at bso. it's good that sch gives out free concerts. and apparently also discounts at art supplies. i picked up a wonderful Al table easel, a couple of canvas boards and an acrylic kit. usually i don't get kits because there's stuff i don't use in the kit, such as ivory black. but my brushes are still in a box on its way from singapore and i think overall the cost is tolerable.
the bunch of crap
the easel
a draft of something i was making last night
this is a screen shot i had from years ago of a minor character from sense and sensibility. she couldn't be more minor, but i thought she was so deliciously arrogant. i'm prob going to scrap the old woman on the left but yeah i'd keep her there for now.
***
and tmobile is fucking mean. they disabled almost all web-based third party java applications on the nokia 5300. so now i can't use any of the google mobile apps, or opera mini, or anything that is not t-zone. my status is officially: with data plan, but crippled.
***
on a separate note, i dropped by the art supplies on mass ave after i picked up a college card at bso. it's good that sch gives out free concerts. and apparently also discounts at art supplies. i picked up a wonderful Al table easel, a couple of canvas boards and an acrylic kit. usually i don't get kits because there's stuff i don't use in the kit, such as ivory black. but my brushes are still in a box on its way from singapore and i think overall the cost is tolerable.
the bunch of crap
the easel
a draft of something i was making last night
this is a screen shot i had from years ago of a minor character from sense and sensibility. she couldn't be more minor, but i thought she was so deliciously arrogant. i'm prob going to scrap the old woman on the left but yeah i'd keep her there for now.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
gadget day
in this glorious morning, my new phone with a t mobile sim card in it came. i officially have a cell phone again. 
in the afternoon, i popped 2 ram sticks into my computer, 1 gig each... i've been the biggest moron of the world not to do it for the past 4 years while enduring the stupid slow speed of my computer. it flies on 2 gigs.
the memory sticks are from crucial.com. in the same shipment came my tiny tiny usb drive. it is the new Crucial Gizmo! Jr 4Gb USB flash drive...some shots:
how it looks in the usb port of my computer...
thickness as compared to a quarter
linear measurements as compared to the US coins
what can i say. it's a good day:)
in the afternoon, i popped 2 ram sticks into my computer, 1 gig each... i've been the biggest moron of the world not to do it for the past 4 years while enduring the stupid slow speed of my computer. it flies on 2 gigs.
the memory sticks are from crucial.com. in the same shipment came my tiny tiny usb drive. it is the new Crucial Gizmo! Jr 4Gb USB flash drive...some shots:
how it looks in the usb port of my computer...
thickness as compared to a quarter
linear measurements as compared to the US coins
what can i say. it's a good day:)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
卜算子·咏梅
I'm sorry about posting crazy number of photos in the previous posts. haha. i just found lots of pictures and re-took them and uploaded them onto picasa... was one click away from putting it on the blog so i did it..
this post is for my mother. she records stuff and puts them online. but she does it through a custom-made-copy-right-infringing software on a chinese website. the effect is rather bad, so i've always wanted her to try garageband. so we recorded this thing on garageband. it's an overture to a pingtan work. anyways, here you go.
this post is for my mother. she records stuff and puts them online. but she does it through a custom-made-copy-right-infringing software on a chinese website. the effect is rather bad, so i've always wanted her to try garageband. so we recorded this thing on garageband. it's an overture to a pingtan work. anyways, here you go.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
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