since i quoted that paragraph in the last thread, here's another great exerpt from Colm Toibin's The Master:

Gradually, then, over the days, Minny Temple made a choice. She chose subtly and carefully so that no one saw at first that she had done so, but what was no apparent to Gray or Holmes or her sisters became clear to Henry because she wished it to be clear to him. She chose Henry as her friend and confidant, the one she trusted most, could speak to most easily. And she may have chosen Holmes for something, too, because she never ignored him, or shone her light on the others more than on him. But she chose Gray as the one on whom she could have most effect, whom most needed her. She paid no attention to his military talk and his gruff, practical comments and his clipped witticisms. She wished to change him, and Henry watched her gently cajoling him, without allowing herself to become offensive.

how apt.