packing always leads to surprises. found a message zhu wrote me on a purple piece of paper when we left singapore in 04. the flip side has ai yazawa's manga drawings. zhu put a quote in the message:
all existing things are born without a reason, prolongs itself out of weakness and dies out of chance.
-jean-paul sartre
and zhu said, we are prlonging ourselves out of weakness right now aren't we. i probably didn't give much thought to the quote at the time i received it. i was as ambitious as any student preparing to start a scientific career at a university. my life was full of purpose then, and i had nothing but confidence in me. 3 years later, i'm sure that confidence has withered a little. while i still don't think we are prolonging ourselves out of weakness, a sense of losing control of my own life did sort of creep in. maybe that's what happens when you grow old, when more and more things start to set and fewer and fewer possibilities are left for you to contemplate. maybe when i am at the age when sartre wrote the quote, i would think exactly the same things.
3 comments:
Sure that's nostalgic!! I don't remember what I was thinking when I put down that quote. I was so obsessed with La Nausea the book back then. I thought it's a cruel message that has a survival ring. It sounds morbid now, but still holds truth. For all purposes you live for, one of them must be to propel yourself out of dire situations that's crowded by anger, disappointment, anxiety. You name it. These demons grow with age. Life so far seems to be walking into or around problems. I got the impression from whatever books told me, that we'd grow into grace and live outside ourselves, about the time our teeth wither and fall out. Life's about eternal struggle I believe, till you don't feel the need to struggle anymore.
Anyway cheer up pal! and keep in touch. I'm always looking forward to meeting you again!
From what I know, uncle Satre was not a pessimistic person. He didn't think that life had nothing to live for. He only believed that there isn't a general purpose that everyone should live for, that there is no general human nature or purpose of life ("born without a reason... dies out of chance"). Because we aren't defined by some predetermined human nature, we are free to define our own lives. The aim of life is to find your own purpose out of this meaningless existence. With more things set, less to contemplate, you're more defined and you're more of a free being (existent) than a walking zombie (object). =)
Surely, people tell us that we are "free" to define our own lives. Are we free? How free are we?
Choices we make in life, make our lives the way things are, whether we realize it or not. Always think twice! Choose wisely.
Seize the Day! :)
Post a Comment